a down phase I guess. I go up and I go down and I just would like to feel some
energy today. I have to go pick up Mason from preschool at 2:30'ish and I am
so tired that I feel like I could go to sleep and sleep for days and days.
Yesterday, I felt so tired that I tried to lounged on the couch, Bobby was gone
with Steven all day working on something for his Mom and I had Mason. Of course
toddlers want something to eat and drink, want this and that all day long. I found
myself so tired and irritable I just wanted Bobby to hurry back home, well Mason
gets himself an apple and instead of asking me to peel it (he could sense the tension I'm sure)
He was biting it and spitting it on the table. I saw this and got up to clean it up and
told him that I am up now, next time to ask me. He shook his head "okay" and went
on his merry little way. For some reason I got this burst of energy out of no where
and cleaned the house. I started with the kitchen - dishes, cleaned the counters, wiped stove off, swept, mopped and then went to the bathroom, washed the mirror, sinks, cleaned the
toilet, bathtub, took out trash, swept and mopped the floor and then vacuumed the
living room, dusted, had Mason clean his room up and then went to my room and
I made my bed, took dirty clothes to the laundry room, cleaned my room and
then did the laundry and in the midst finished my other book I was reading
and made tea, got dinner ready and played Mr. Potatoe head with Mason
and still had time to get online here and there. Then again, I was soo tired
that evening I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Most of the time I seem high strung just going going, wanting to talk to Bobby
and he seems to never know what to say, imagine that! So, I end up
feeling bad about talking and I then shut down. It is so nuts. I have been
reading this book as I said below "Codependent No More" and there are
so many ways to be codependent and I just think about my whole life and
it makes so much sense.
I am so tired just from thinking about what all I have typed, now
it is off to do some laundry and whatever else needs to be done
before it's time to get Mason from school, maybe check a few emails.
Have a great Monday all... ha!